Nesting issues make me contemplative...

I've thought often throughout this pregnancy about how lucky I am. We are in much better shape preparation-wise than I was with my daughter 4 1/2 years ago. And since this baby is a boy, I have a lot of hand-me-downs coming my way from my sister and sister-in-law. I really am blessed with the things I have and will have.

However, I have also thought often of the things I need. 

And of course, the things I want. 

The things I wish I could afford but can't. 

The things that other people have that I don't. 

And while I absolutely love sites like Pinterest and Etsy, they do feed into this subconscious need of mine for MORE stuff. The perfect stuff. The clean, concise, orderly, beautiful, modern, timeless, vintage, bold, aesthetically pleasing stuff.

I feel bombarded by images of perfectly decorated nurseries.

With modern colors, patterns, and textures, designer cribs and furniture, custom bedding and artwork, handmade (by themselves or relatives) blankets and decor...

I admit to having fallen prey to the marketing that started this trend. I'm on Etsy far too much, wishing much too hard that people will ONLY purchase from my registries, and not on their own whims. Feeling let down when things don't match my "color scheme" or my "style" for the baby.

And feeling like that leaves me feeling greedy. And sad. And kind of pathetic.

I should be so grateful for everything we receive! Even if it's covered in footballs. Or puppies. Or whatever.

Especially since our financial situation is hardly anything to boast about.

But mostly, because I should just feel blessed that people want to give us something. Something they liked, or thought was cute, or that reminded them of us.

I should feel this way, and yet, I see footballs and think, "Why couldn't it have been a simple color, or pattern?"

Maybe that's a bad example, because I know I'm not the only person who thinks sports themes are tacky for a baby. But still. Be gracious Jess.

Sidebar.

I'm waiting to move into an apartment that is currently in shambles due to renovation.

This leaves me hoarding my baby stuff in a corner of my living space downstairs. Living space a term being used loosely, since I hardly use the space at all aside from storing boxes and gathering clutter.

I prefer to spend the bulk of my time upstairs in the common areas shared with my family for the limited time we are here, so while things keep piling up down there, I don't spend enough time in the area to worry about things being too orderly.

This leaves me both living in a mess, and also waiting anxiously to begin the actual nesting. An urge which I feel almost every minute of every day.

I'm also about to stop working. Which I'm super excited about, but without an apartment and nursery to get ready, I feel a little useless. Like, what will I be doing that is productive? So I'm feeling rather unproductive.

My current mode of transportation, my in-laws van, is also about to disappear. And we are shopping for a new car on a limited budget that doesn't actually exist. But the van will be gone on a specific date and then I will just be car-less. For who knows how long. Dependent on relatives and friends for rides, which includes getting my daughter to school.

I have numerous other stress factors that are more related to the people around me than myself, but that affect my life none-the-less, all of this on top of the fact that a baby will be here soon.

I'm feeling extremely....overwhelmed

Bringing me back to topic, I found the image above (on Pinterest of course!), which is a quote from our dear late President Teddy Roosevelt. And when I saw it, I thought, "Aha!" This is exactly what I needed to see and hear. I need to stop comparing. Stop comparing what I have to what these nameless, faceless strangers have. Stop comparing my ability to keep things orderly to people who aren't in my current situation. Stop comparing the things I have, to the things I imagine I should have. I need to stop wishing for more. It's not my style. And it's not something I felt during my last pregnancy (a pregnancy sans websites and friends with babies).

In the end, I need to just remember that this is me. And him. And us three almost four. And what we have is enough. And who we are is enough. And that our love is enough. :)

Editing posts to match my edited life

So, I found a site that actually changed my life. Which makes me a TOTAL loser, but I don't care. It's called Violent Acres, and you may have heard of it seeing as its been around for 4 years. I however, had not, and that is a horrible injustice seeing as had I discovered it earlier, my backbone would be stronger at this very moment. Not my physical backbone, although I'm sure you knew that. So check it out, but be warned, she is a BITCH. Seriously. She'll probably offend you. But I love her!


I have TONS going on right now, and I love it! We are closing on our first house in less than two weeks!! Needless to say we are freaking excited. We are also getting a puppy (which my mom thinks is the worst idea ever), a female black lab that we are going to name Keara (it means dark, which we think is fitting!) Also, today is mine and husband's 3rd anniversary! We didn't do anything for it today, but next week monkey is staying with her Mimi and we are going to the beach for 3 days. It will be the first time we have both stayed the night away from her, so it's going to be bittersweet.


Hopefully I'll remember to keep posting, if only for family to read! Lol.

Playing Catch up...

Long time no see!
Wow, it's been a while. So the monkey is 18 months old now...can you believe it? I can't. Not long until we're celebrating birthday number 2.
Texas is still the current plan...husband submitted his application for transfer and we are hoping to hear on it soon.
I decided (in order to motivate myself) that we won't remove my Mirena (aka. try for baby numero dos) until I've got my license. Husbands response to this epiphany? Let me play it out for you:

Me: "So, I've decided not to take the Mirena out until I get my license. There's no way I can survive with two babies and no way to get around."

Husband: "So, when did you decide we aren't having any more kids?"

Me: ".................... Ouch."

Husband: "Hahahahahaha....oh me."

That last part is embelished a bit, but whatevs. You get the gist.
And yes, I am 20 years old and still without ever having had a license. No real driving experience to speak of. Still in need of therapy (most likely) to get over the driving fears. But come on! Have a little faith husband huh?
Anyhoo.
I'm back to painting, and loving it. I've found a style I really like. I've never painted anything cartoony, it's always been realistic, even if it's kind of abstract...but this is a cartoony style and like I said, I'm loving it. I ran out of paper though. :( So I'll have to wait until this weekend to finish the one I'm working on.

Okay, well monkey just woke up, so I'm off!

Family pictures!!

Yeah, so pretty much I have wayyy too much free time on my hands and like to play around with Word and Paint. So sue me! Anyway, it is nearly autumn (or Fall...barney songs come to mind...ahh get it away!), nearly monkeys 1st b-day (hurray!), and past due time for a family photo or two. Lucky me I have a super cool mom-in-law who got me a gift certificate to a really neat local photography studio, lemondrops photography. And (small world) I found out I know the photographer, she's the daughter of my late father's ex-brother-in-law-turned-best-friend. Yup. How much does that rock? About as much as the dress I found for the monkey on Etsy! Feast your eyes upon this beauty

And once I found monkey's dress I just had to go perusing for deals on autumnal wear for husband and I. Yes sir, I said autumnal wear. Should it be hyphonated? I don't know. Is hyphonated mis-spelled? I don't know. Am I getting distracted due to it being past midnight? I don't know, but probably.
What was I saying again? Oh yeah, so here are some things I was looking at (all oldnavy.com) for me to wear to match monkey without looking matchy matchy. After getting husbands opinion I went with the green sweater, which he chose based on the fact that I'll wear it most because I happen to love that spring green color.

And what will husband be wearing? A plain, solid-colored, v-neck brown sweater. Yep yep. We're going to look like one spiffy little fall-flavored family. LOVE it!

Oh! And before I forget, we're also getting monkey's 1 year pic's taken. But not traditional 1 year pics, no no...cake smash 1 year pics.
Yes, you heard me correctly, cake smash pics.
And just what is a cake smash photo session?
Well, first of all there's a grand example on Jenica's lemondrop gallery under "Fun Stuff", but here's the general idea:
You pick a color scheme. You buy your little munchkin a cute little diaper cover in a color from said scheme (and for munchkins of the female variety perhaps a bow as well).
Then, Jenica has a cake decorator she works with who will make a cake featuring said color scheme. Jenica chooses a solid colored background. She then places munchkin in front of cake and proceeds to snap perfectly amazing photographs before and during the destruction of that lovely cake.
The perk? Well aside from awesome pics, munchkin gets a faceful of cake for free, as the cake is included in the session price (an awesomely low $45.00).
Yep, cake smash. Fun for all, and all for fun.

Woot!

Lemondrops Photography: here

EDIT: Lemondrops Photography has been doing extremely well since this post. And, well, prices have adjusted accordingly. The photography style is amazing, but as of January 2013, you are looking at a minimum of $125 for a session, AND a minimum of $250 towards prints and packages. That's minimum. For example, a newborn session is $575, and in order to get a maternity session which costs $275, you must also purchase a newborn session. And those prices don't include the cost of prints. So please keep that in mind if you take a stroll over to her site from here!